Wish List - Jacket and Boots

I was given £50 John Lewis vouchers from the last company as farewell gift. I began to fantasize about jackets again. The cold reminded me of my last search on boots which I didn't get any.

Warehouse Military Cropped Jacket, Black £75

Ecco Flair GTX boots £100.00

Movember

Donated £5 for a colleague growing his beard, for men's health. Hairy, albeit a nice cause. So far only one male colleague is growing his for Movember in November, rest probably just bit more bothered by work and their healthy lives.

Remembrance Day and Guy Fawkes Day, events that bypassed me this year. Fireworks spotted on my way home from work earlier this week, Poppy donation volunteers around and I just ignored them. I was more bothered about unfinished work and getting out of the cold as fast as I could. I was tired for the entire week. There were colleagues who worked far harder. Crazy.

In South Wales I wailed and whined

My nose, argh my nose! I sneezed over six times in a row and my day became less enjoyable. In a room with a 90-year old lady and her family including her grandchildren, I felt asleep as they continued to engage in family conversations - hearing aid annual package, changing the on-off switch to be bigger button on the aid, overpriced £70 icing cake that looked more for a 9-year old than a 90-year old, photos of her son's summer home in Greece and rock cake baking ingredients. I got knudged, awoken and was invited for a walk to save myself from further embarrassment. As things supposed to get better, I called home to wish sister Happy Birthday. Mum was the last person I spoke to before I ended the call. Tears welled up and I cried missing home. More sniffing and tissues. I wasn't in absolute top form, I still felt terribly tired from the moment I woke up and nose had been flowing all morning. I slept all the way back in the car. Nose behaved much better after that. I could enjoy dinner and watching random TV shows.

I wanted to get away from work, took a train on Friday evening to get out of London. I wasn't very good at getting rid of it completely. There was my company phone E71 with emails still flooding in, reminding me on urgent issues to be handled. I would need to manage these far better, to be more in control. To say no without feeling terribly sorry and guilty. To negotiated without feeling I might loose. To feel alright when I do not read emails cc to me.

To have a great weekend with a clear head, and clear nose.

Hate Royal Mail - Lovefilm

Easy to blame Royal Mail strikes because they deserved it. Lovefilm decided to manage our expectations:

Hi (name),

As you may know, national postal strikes at the end of last week affected all deliveries and collections across the UK.

We have been equally frustrated by the strike and so you don’t forget how much we love you, we’re committed to making up for any loss of viewing you may experience – and here’s how:

1. Let us know how your DVD rental service has been affected. We'll credit your account with extra rentals for use when the strike is over.
2. You also now have free digital credits on your account (the same as your monthly DVD allowance) which you can see here.

These will allow you to watch selected titles from our new Watch Online service. If you haven’t used Watch Online before, it’s like the iPlayer but for movies. Your credits are absolutely free. You’ll be able to enjoy selected movies that are streamed instantly, direct to your computer, and so are happily unaffected by postal delays.

We will, of course, continue to update you with any relevant information via the website. In the meantime, thanks for bearing with us.

Best wishes,
The LOVEFiLM Team

I like this - Wallace and Gromit at www.Google.com

Capability is damaging confidence.
Confidence is damaging capability.

I can't even decide which is right. All Cs sucked big time right now.

No matter what, I survived Tuesday.

Monday

Sooooooooooooooooooo many things! Tuesday will be worse, back to back meetings and nooooooooooooooooooo lunch time for just lunch.

Weekend

I worked most hours last weekend, knowing roughly what I had to do. Not clearly how it could be delivered most effectively. I hate the fear of not catching up, not knowing clearly, the bulk of great work's demands and most of all, dreaming about work.

Saturday

I had fun. Thanks Kings for inviting me to his 40th birthday party at the Royal Geo Society. Thanks Bru for encouraging me to sing, I sang Fly Me to the Moon. It happened to be their friend's wedding song. Lovely. Thanks to Lu for being there and all of the above.

Wish List - Kathmanthu, Method 18L black packbag

Method Pack v2. I'll need to go check it out. It weighs only 600g.

Free going smarter, or determined to make Free relevant in our lives

Yahoo produced new short-cuts so that we do not have to leave Yahoo Mail at all to send pictures from our flickr albums as well as facebook updates.

Facebook has began delegation work - urging us to encourage friends who rarely use their Facebook accounts to use it again.

I am impressed - simply trend tracker Trendistic

Trendistic is not unique but useful enough to track trends on top levels. I was browsing through today's Guardian and spotted a section called Tools of the Trade. It featured three useful tools to track what's most talked about in Twitter. There are several other trend sites and Trendistic appeal to me most. As I was searching about phones, I decided to try Trendistic using phone brands. Nothing too surprising, iphone came up tops. The chart showed a sharp increased on chats on Oct 22 experienced about iphone and Nokia - reminded me of an article I read last week about Nokia suing iphone over 10 patent rights. The article triggered lots of posts. Another interesting tracking done by Guardian on BNP, read about it more here. Oh yes, need to register to view 90 and 180 days results, it's free.

The new routine of limited fresh air

The week of 20 Oct was about long conference calls, reacting to requests from emails, back to back meetings, late and 10-15min lunches at the office cafe and no exercise. I realised I ate out every night, either with colleagues for bonding purposes or catch-up with friends I haven't met for a while. Eating out and talking to non colleagues kind off helped me to unwind, therefore enabled me to manage a fair good sleep, instead of sleepless nights worrying about work I couldn't do well. Lucy said I have been very hard on myself. I couldn't understand I struggled, perhaps wrong job for me? Worse, in the abyss of delusions and lies to myself. As I began to doubt myself, I began to doubt everything else.

I wasn't comforted at all by the fact I was not the only one having a tough time. Their issues didn't matter to me. One received tons of complaints over some printing quality and Struggler-for-time had a tiff with our boss. The tiff was just a tipping point of her being new to hard London, long working hours and being alone. The stress could drive anyone nuts. My tough week was her every week since she joined the group in March. I felt sorry which she reassured there was nothing for me to feel sorry for. I dread the thought of every week being like this week. It would be fucking "mental".

Flash Forward, a showed mentioned by one of the people at a meeting was the new hot show. I watched the first last Thursday night and watched the rest today. I surfed online for spoilers to make sure I understood the show and hopefully the new ones :) No success on next episode yet. The show seemed to bring out the TV couch potato in me all over again, I was crazy about Heroes though it was quite easy to give up while being busy and then tired after work. I felt something to look forward to again, a TV show about people anticipating what they would be in 6 months because they saw it for 2 min 17 secs when they went unconscious. I love the concept and the darkness of the story line, not exactly stress-free show huh.

If I blackout for 137mins, I would hope I see the end of the tunnel for what I am currently going through. Can I survive in this new group, new responsibilities, stupid politics, stupid competition and the concept of living in the present. Am I sure about having a childless future, away from family? I'm sure about the choices I made albeit being clouded with mysterious doubts. 6 months ain't enough. Wait, I am contradicting and confused. Only God knows.

The sun is out as I blog, oh well let's get out and have a short run in the nice weather. Worry will return later.

Thursday

I was very worried. I couldn't think and respond as fast as others. My mum would say I had to stop being "mong mong cha cha", like how I was in school. I would not be able to get away like in the past. The big guy in the office wanted a top-line report and I didn't have a clue how to write it. Naturally the report was rejected three times. The other two who needed to submit the report done well except one of them needed a bit of clarification before it was accepted. My line manager ended helping me to complete it, it was in her interest to help otherwise the big guy just chased and chased. Apparently, the report was sent when the big guy started the meeting not long ago. He needed the reports to get a discussion going. I felt awful, terribly guilty that I couldn't grasp hold of the many things I ought to since I joined the group. I had an awful lunch and rest of the day. Thankfully, when night falls I left for dinner with a few Singaporean friends at Chinatown. I talked loudly like the rest quite a bit and that somehow helped to diffuse the stress accumulated in the day.

I have friend who just struggled and struggled to manage her time. She was often caught up by her obligations and cancelled our meetings a few times. The plan was her taking me through one of her portfolios so I could take over, to relieve her and manage her workload. The meeting requests came in and they were either starting way before or ending after office hours. She wasn't pleased when I pushed for all within office hours. I wanted to tell her "too bad, get your bloody act together". I wouldn't be empathetic and cooperative, would I? I was very tempted to ask our boss for advise but I asked my dearest instead and this was the reply:

Dear Boss,
Do you want Struggler-for-time to do "Project 2010" meetings all day, or do you think it's important that she makes time to get me fully onboarded? (I am not sure I mentioned it on my resumé, but I am the centre of the universe and Struggler-for-time is a small moon).
Thanks for your cooperation,
Centre-of-universe
;-)

Thankfully all meetings have been planned within office hours. So I would be able to continue with my own work before and after office hours. Peace.

Man of the match - Big red beach ball

The picture from BBC said it all. One silly Liverpool branded beach ball caused Liverpool to loose the match to Sunderland. Whoever threw it, allowed it to even be thrown, no how accidentally thrown would not be able to rest well tonight unless no one wanted the person dead. [BBC showed the scene and wisely pixelated the young man's face who punched the beach ball hard to ensure it reached the pitch.]. I imagined the Liverpool fans who witnessed the entire journey of the ball, freed from owner's hands, descended to the goal post, lingered around and distracted the goalkeeper during the critical kick by Bent. The crowd saw how goalkeeper failed to catch the real ball leading to the victorious roar of Sunderland fans. How the Liverpool fans wished bloody beach ball was not there in the first place , loosing points and widening the chance of not winning the Premier League Cup. It didn't matter which player played better, got injured or distracted. Blame it all on the bloody red Liverpool beach ball, the young man in Citibank-like dark blue track top who gave it away.

Article from BBC Sports, Sunderland 1 - 0 Liverpool here.
How the young guy looks like here.
Video of the freak goal here.

Meerkat Manor BBC

Run

Cycle

Cross trainer

Weights

Shower

Instant noodles with no MSG

Put up cleaned laundry, cotton wash

Add another laundry load, for wool wash

Random TV

Two episodes of Meerkat Manor. Cute. The male voice-over for narration could be better. As I surfed on youtube, it has the same episode with a different voice-over, an American lady which was much better. Oddly, they named some of the characters differently too.


Video found on youtube, not the same show but on baby meerkats by BBC

BNP continues with very strong racist messages

I was surfing to find animal articles, hoping to see pictures that would make me smile. An article about whites only political group BNP on radio stood out instead.

BBC storm as two of BNP's most notorious activists are invited on Radio 1 to insult Ashley Cole - read article. It's quite disturbing. BNP has very low tolerance for non whites, accusing them for invading and staying in their territory. I'm not sure where do human rights and freedom of speech stand. There are many other considerations like community harmony, peace and common sense. Not to mention tons of history, learnings and exposure to working and living with the rest of the world.

I can only hope they remain as the smallest minority. They have been winning in small quantities, most recently won two European seats.

So if BNP works to the extreme and refuse non whites involvement, they could fade out pretty soon. Most of the products these days, from phones to strollers are made in China. They can use non China made things but will have to pay much more because of the higher wages by the whites. They can resist drinking tap and bottled water after knowing most somehow involved non whites hands - producing the tap, pipes, van delivery to the supermarkets.

They are not silly. They are very smart and have full of hatred on non-whites. They are waiting for their time.

God help us all.

Criminal Justice Series 2 - BBC 1

This is an interesting TV series about domestic violence. I read the review and watched the 1st and 3rd episodes. I went to iplayer minutes ago, skipped the unbearable yet extremely great dialogues to the final minutes of episode 5 for the verdict.

Guardian review by Julie B: I have spent time with many women who killed their abusers and many more who continue to live with the daily horror of sexual and domestic violence. Having advised scriptwriters on TV dramas on the topic I have often been disappointed at the crude portrayal of this extremely complex issue.

Criminal Justice 2, however, a five-part thriller scripted by Peter Moffatt, which starts tonight on BBC1, is the best depiction of domestic abuse I have seen. Protagonist Maxine Peake's character Juliet suffers the type of abuse that is often invisible. Her husband – a respected and handsome criminal barrister – controls just about every aspect of her life. While it would be possible to look upon his behaviour as "caring", those who understand domestic violence know only too well that men who keep tabs on their partner every minute of the day do so in order to exercise power.

The women whose stories I have heard while they are stuck in prison facing a charge of murder often refuse to disclose rape as the final act of provocation, even though they are looking at a life sentence if they don't explain their actions. Not only is the stigma too great but most professionals in the criminal justice system have no idea how to ask the questions about this last taboo.

Sophie Okonedo's character, Jack, the solicitor assigned to Juliet's case, is a joy to behold. Feisty, feminist and fearless, she clocks immediately that her client is keeping something from her and guesses it is serious abuse. The way she encourages and enables her to disclose that abuse should be a lesson to us all. We let down the women for whom sexual violence is an integral part of their domestic violence experience when we do not engage with the more difficult aspects of their stories. The posters and films used by some domestic violence charities showing a battered face, or a woman being kicked by a grimacing monster often result in the victims disengaging from the message.

Watch this series. It is the closest thing to the truth about domestic violence, and a truth we need to accept lest we ignore those women suffering in silence with no outward signs of the hell in which they live.

This week

1st full week at work was all about absorbing information poorly. I struggled to sink in what was introduced to me. The charts, systems, early and long conference calls and presentations that made very little impression on me, except feeling that all important and something I must know. The stark marketing-speak disparity from among ourselves and to the layouts displayed for 'consumers' to see. If there's anything else, I just listened quite poorly for the week. I'm not sure if next week will be better, I have been quietly tensed and nervous.

Saturday arrived. I hoped to enjoy and soak in the rare sunny day out with Lucy and friends. The crowd at London Borough thought the same thing and we all packed up every single space. It was stressful, still the crowd disregarded the unthinkable stand-and-eat, long queues and get their food and purchases. It would not have made anyone mad, except me soaking in all the bad vibes. A normal conversation with Lucy made me mad. I gave her a hard time with my temper and acidic words which I clearly remembered using and hurting my family and friends. I lost friends and family stayed on. I have been burning relationships.

I could see why 'blood is thicker than water'. I could also understand (much better unfortunately) 'wanting someone's blood'. No one deserve it from me at all. I continue regretting and hating myself for not embracing positive actions. I'm very sorry to all of you. I'm very sorry Lucy.

The night arrived. England lost to Ukraine, Gordon Brown reported having poor eyes and Strictly Come Dancing began it's frenzy phase again. I lost interest in everything and went to bed sulking by 8.

Strange English behaviour

Actually, I would call it shit behaviour. One kind I would imagine shaking the head to wake it up. An ex-colleague whom I worked with two years ago and I were waiting for a train. Our eyes met but she looked away immediately, completely missing my smile. We were never close, at most I attended her lunch invite when she announced she was getting married. I paid for my share anyway so it was a polite celebration. Hi...oh no wait don't turn awkwardly away! It's not like you are 10 metres away. We are less than one metre away, face to face as we waited for the train!! Why are you turning away, you recognise me. Oh yes, you know my name so why you soooo like dat?! Why so kuai lan!? Damn tu lan!!

She is not the only cold fish. 

I have another ex-colleague who told a fellow workmate not to bother greeting him in the train or anywhere in the early morning, on the way to work. He would be grumpy and wanted his own private time sulking, therefore not in his brightest mood to acknowledge anyone. These two English are just about every other English living in London. Why?! Perhaps it's far harder to smile and lighten up in the morning, in the public beyond your pajamas in a bloody small house. Perhaps it's easier to stay sulking and demand the public give you privacy. Damn right, on a bloody crowded platform elbowing each other to ensure getting into the train and then smelling each other's breath and pressing against each other.

Come on people. Come on moi. Smile, lighten up and not sulk.

A year later to do the distance - Farthing Downs and Happy Valley country walk

We completed the recommended walk today, a total of approx. 10.5 miles from Smitham train station. I felt great, my inner thigh muscles have been aching since.

Previous walk was in June 2008 and we also went on a dry and sunny day.

Friends visiting London today

I'm very excited to meet Paul and Pris again. I've been looking forward for today. Paul wanted to catch an Arsenal match and I was just too happy to book and buy for him first. He will return the £ as well as downloading tons of music to my HD and bring stuffs back on my behalf to my family. Paul and I met while working in an ad agency. We didn't get on well at first, but somehow we kept in touch often and worked together in another agency. He progressed to be a Sports Marketing Director in Singapore while I started life and work all over again in the UK. Great guy. His other half Pris is probably one of the more easy going people I have ever met. She is very cool, working for the Apple people. Ah, all the Apple perks and latest Apple gadgets. They arrive in the evening today, we plan to meet for dinner near their hotel.

2 days at new work place

I am happier, I know that is way too soon to tell. I got more things to learn, more problems, bigger things to resolve, too many. That's good, I didn't have much at all in the previous work place. I have over 120 self-training decks to run through, over 20 presentations and information docs to read and understand. Over 321 acronyms to know and bit stucked on what to ask first.

On the bigger picture perspective, I tried to understand the culture and dynamics between clients and ourselves, internal structure and of course where could I get help. I decided to ignore things I think I can get away not knowing yet :) and focused on what boss wanted me to read - 6 docs.

I will be getting a swanky mobile phone and laptop soon, just not sure exactly when which is fine since I'm on orientation mood anyway.

I'm very glad I made the move to the 'other side', the grass is greener only because there's more shit. Lovely.

Apple cares only from 10 am on Sat

I dialled the number bit too early at 9am, if only the opening times are stated in the site. You can only find the number right at the bottom of the page, in fine, tiny and light grey texts 0844 209 0611* * £0.05p per minute when dialled from a landline within the UK. Call charges may vary when calling from a mobile phone. 

I got charged for a few minutes, first hearing irrelevant options. Instinctively, I decided to not do anything and see where it could lead me to. An auto message about the operating times was finally mentioned followed by an auto disconnection.

The options for help are only iphone and auto-check of registered help. There's no messages for other help, no matter how small albeit bloody critical to users like me.

Come on Apple, I say a bomb for this toy. At least I deserve after sales help, every little helps.

Singapore - where to go, what to eat

There are tons of new thigs to check out but I lost touch quite a bit. As far I know, when I visit Singapore once a year I see new bridges, new roads, new high rise buildings and shopping places.
For food, there's no need to tip, the receipt should already include any service fee unless they said so. Wine and alcohol far more expensive than rest of the world I think.

Bar - Zouk, MOS, Power Station etc..Extremely lost touched on this turf of entertainment.

A few worthy food places around:
Sunset Grill and Bar
You need a taxi or ride to go there. It's out of the city buzz, very much nothing else around which is v rare for a tiny Singapore. Go for dinner at around 6pm to watch sunset.

Hawker centres at Newton Circus, East Coast Beach, Marine Parade etc. Highest profile is Newton Circus'
Check out Bah Cho Mee dry with chilli, roti plata (all kinds), dessert ice kachang

Seafood - too many places, try those at East Coast Beach like Red House, Jumbo for Chilli crab, pepper crab.

ZOO and Night Safari - Do check it out. No, you MUST visit it at least once. It's the BEST in the world! :P

I'm no messenger for job opportunities. So recruiters of any jobs most obviously irrelevant to me, please stop taking advantage of my kindness. I respond because I do not want to burn bridges, gosh they aren't even built yet. I try to ask around because yes, sometimes there are jobs people I know may be keen to pursue. Fuckoff and work hard like everyone else. Ask the right questions, make an effort and stop randomly throwing your questions around. Worse, push me again and again to get leads. Please work hard and earn your bloody commisssion deservingly.

Lebanese food

After an afternoon trip to Frensham Common and Ponds, we returned back to Wimbledon to meet friends for Lebanese dinner.

It was more fun choosing and feasting on the small servings. Four of us ordered a total of 13 different dishes. My favourite has to be the garlic mayo and fried chilli & tomato king prawns. The chicken wings were bit overcooked and not a fan of the lemonish green leaves.

Frensham Common and Ponds near Farnham, Surrey

The arrival to the place was a surprise. Flat fine sand beach overlooking extremely still waters which was also expectedly chilling cold, like how I used to say and constantly being teased by the Thomas family - a chilly pond.

I couldn't make out the development of the place, how did extremely fine sand and a huge pond go together. The book on Surrey walks explained it was created during Midlands to supply fish for the King living nearby.

We played games and walked around abit. One of the wheels punctured and three of us tried to replace with a spare tire, successfully :)

Frensham ponds will always be a good place to return to, better with a car. The ride was about an hour in the car from Wimbledon.

Pay, pay, pay the bloody biggies but tax just won't drop

So much paying topics lately. To pay online news content. To pay broadband 50p tax. To pay Digital Britain. To pay iplayer for entertainment programmes.

Bloody damn big fat cats. All used to be free, most by government bodies which means our tax went to it. Now we need to pay more. Why is tax not cut down?!

Gawd bloody damn bad spenders.